me whispering to my dog in the dark: hey.. you still up?
Oh my GOD
My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes “like a cheaply made castle” and we were like what and he goes “no ballroom”
having siblings is weird bc like one minute u want to strangle them with their own intestines and then later ur singing dramatic duets together
my ex sent me pics of another girl sucking his weiner one time because he thought it would make me mad and i wrote back “did your mom do something different with her hair?”
i lost my virginity on the first date. never sleep with the first date you meet. dates are all assholes and they don’t even taste that good. lose your virginity to a fruit that you truly love
I like this